Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Confession #7: I Tip-toe Along the Fine Line of Crazy

I've stated emphatically that, while I am a cat lady, I am NOT a crazy cat lady.

Yet.

But there are times when I push the boundaries. Perhaps even dip a toe in the warm waters of insanity, just to test them out.


I always come back, though.

For now.

There will probably be a time in the distant (or not too distant) future when I am a full-on, card-carrying member of CCLAW (Crazy Cat Lady Association of the World). Maybe even the president.

When evaluating whether you've crossed the line from cat enthusiast to feline fanatic, there are a few soul-searching questions to ask yourself. About once a quarter, I take stock and self-assess with the following four questions:

1) What percentage of cat-related decor/furnishing dominates my household?

We'll start with the big stuff. I recently purchased this climbing tree and cat apartment, so the cats would have plenty of perching/hiding areas. I should have saved my money. If you look closely in the photo, you just might be able to see the last bits of tumbleweed blowing across the deserted kitty cat haven. Don't get me wrong. The products aren't defective. The cats are.

There are also three cat scratching posts.


In mint condition.


They aren't defective. The cats are.


And here's my new cookie jar.

Funny side-story: Moments after this photo was taken, Mrs. Weasley tried to rub cheeks with this new cat. The new cat's head toppled off and gave Mrs. W. a massive coronary. She was traumatized for the rest of the afternoon.




But my piece de resistance, the gem of the collection, the treasure to end all treasures- this mirror. It was an amazing flea market find a few weeks ago. Don't be jealous.

So, collectively, I'm probably around 15-20% cat furnishing/decor. Just a minor blip on the Crazy Cat Lady Radar.

I do need to be careful, though. One of my friends informed me that these are gateway Crazy Cat Lady knick-knacks. And there are so many things that I secretly (well, not so much secretly now) covet.

I'll just covet these from afar.

For now.



A couch for the living room, with some tasteful throw pillows:



And every home needs a bit of high-end art. This is the original. Now we know the secret behind Mona Lisa's smile:

(My birthday is in two months and Christmas is only  four months away. Hint, hint.)


2) What percentage of my apparel/jewelry is cat-themed, and how often do I wear them in public?

I don't think I even warrant a blip on the CCLR in this arena. I have one T-shirt given to me by my sister, Liz (as a joke, but I love it), and two pairs of cat jammies. None of it worn in public. Probably works out to about 0.5%......I have a lot of clothes......

Now, I do have a slight hankering for these....







(I'm lying. It's not a slight hankering. I really, really want them. So much. A lot. I'm pretty sure I'd look amazing. Or something.)


3) How often do I converse with my cat(s)?

I tend to ask demanding questions of the cats. And their answers always leave something to be desired.

Where is my blue shirt? I don't care.

Why did you jump into my bubble bath with me? I had to get the bubbles, idiot.

 Why were you pretending to be my other slipper? Why is your slipper pretending to be me?

What do you think you are doing with MY brownie? YOU own nothing. Everything is MINE.


What are you doing to Severus?! None of your business. Keep walking.


So, yes, I talk to my cats. A lot. But, it's rude not to answer someone when they ask you a question. Or demand to know why they haven't been fed, tummy-rubbed, fed,  furminated, fed, given clean litter, or fed (yes, I know fed was repeated- it is not a typo).

....I guess this is really where I just might be treading a wee bit over the line....

And the final question,

4) Are the following memes something I "bahaha" laugh at, or something I nervously "heh-heh-heh" laugh at because I know one of my friends probably secretly created these memes with ME in mind?









Well, in answer to that question, my laughter went something like this:

Baha-heh-heh-ha-ha-heh-heh.......crap.

2 comments:

  1. You're definitely not a crazy cat-woman LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Laika! That's what I keep telling myself.... ;)

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